Many situations in life can cause us to boil. Once we are enraged, it seems we only have two choices to dealing with our anger: explode or implode. Either way, it only brings more frustration into our lives. Anger management is a skill you can learn to manage your emotions to restore inner peace and harmony in your life.
The Truth about Dealing with Anger
Managing anger is not so much about the techniques as it is about understanding yourself and your relationships with others. When you sense anger, it is a signal that there is something for you to learn in this particular situation in your life.
“Wait,” you say. “It is the other person’s fault; they did me wrong. Why should I have to learn anything?”
Well, that may be true, but let me ask you: if someone did you wrong, and you got angry, does that make you right? It is an imperfect world. People are still learning from each other. You could be perfectly in the right and yet because you carry the anger, the one who suffers the most is you and those you care for.
6 Anger Management Techniques
#1 KEEP YOUR FUTURE IN MIND
When all is said and done, I doubt you would be seeking a future filled with strife and struggle. Therefore, you need to work towards harmony. One less enemy saves you buckets of worry. Thus, the golden rule you need to remember is: the better you can handle anger, the better the outcome you can achieve in most situations.
In heated arguments, tell yourself: “Stop! What is my ultimate goal here? Would releasing anger help or hurt the situation?” You always want to act in the way which produces the best outcome for your future.
#2 KNOW WHO YOU ARE CHOOSING TO BE
Your actions are a reflection of who you are. People judge you through your speech and the emotions you represent. Before you act, know what kind of person you are showing yourself to be. Would being labelled ‘hotheaded’ and ‘out of control’ be how you would like to be remembered? If not, how would you like to be perceived instead? Act to fulfil your desired image.
#3 TRUST THE DEEPER TRUTHS
‘Hate Begets Hate’
Whatever you give out, comes back to you even stronger. Thus, it becomes a vicious circle of an eye for an eye making the whole world blind. The only way out is if you say:
“I value peace. I value harmony and safety. It is okay if I suffer a little now if the future can be better because of it. I pray for inner strength to hold myself together.”
#4 BE AWARE OF THE SENSATIONS OF ANGER BUILDING UP
Some people feel it as pressure in the head, some feel it as rising heat in the chest, while others sense anger as a rush of energy from the stomach. Being aware of the buildup of the sensations gives you an early warning sign that your state of mind is shifting to the negative. At this point, you can still easily transform how you feel.
#5 SHORT-CIRCUIT THE BUILDUP AND RESTORE BALANCE
Excuse yourself and exit the situation. If you are unable to do that, then stop speaking and place a portion of your attention on cooling your emotions. One measure of great character is how well you manage your emotion while under pressure.
You might want to go for a walk or do some exercises like swimming, cycling, and basketball, as these simple movements help release physiological tensions.
#6 CLEAR YOUR EMOTIONS AND REFLECT FOR GREATER UNDERSTANDING
When you feel more calm, sit in a quiet place and reflect upon how you came to be in conflict with this person. If you were a brother or a sister to each other, what is it that each of you wants? What is it that you are not understanding about the inner desires of each other?
Every person in life struggles in some way. To carry a desire which brings you into conflict with another is a form of suffering. If the world were an ideal place, we would all have flawless characters. However, that is not the case yet in our world. People are still learning to be better versions of themselves.
What you might do is set an example for everyone, that although afflicted with the condition of anger, you strive to develop the virtue of patience and understanding. When family and friends see that you are making a difference in the condition of your character, they could be inspired to follow suit.
“Life is a question of who you are choosing to be,” is one of my favourite sayings. Dealing with anger is a breeze when you have cultivated your heart and mind to a level of self-mastery.